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← All Lessons 26–50

Minna no Nihongo - Lesson 41

Complete Grammar Lesson

Giving and receiving with やります・さしあげます・いただきます・くださいます, giving and receiving actions, polite requests with Vてくださいませんか, and Nに for gifts, occasions, and purposes.

The main idea of Lesson 41: Japanese does not use only one verb for “give” and one verb for “receive.” The verb changes depending on who gives, who receives, whose point of view is being used, and how much respect the speaker wants to show.

1. The relationship behind giving and receiving

Before learning the sentence patterns, understand the basic direction. The arrows below are more important than memorizing an English translation.

→

Give to a child, animal, plant, or someone treated as lower/very familiar.

→

Ordinary “give” to another person.

→

Humble “give” when the receiver deserves respect.

←

Ordinary “receive.”

←

Humble “receive” from someone respected or socially above you.

→ me / my group

Respectful “give” when a respected person gives to me or someone in my in-group.

The two directions at a glance:
さしあげます = I/my side humbly gives upward.
いただきます = I/my side humbly receives from upward.
くださいます = a respected person graciously gives to me/my side.

Important modern usage note about やります

Traditional textbook explanations often say that やります is used when giving to children, animals, or plants. That is useful for understanding the grammar, but in modern everyday Japanese あげます is very often preferred with people, including children, because やる can sound rough depending on the context. It is still natural with animals and plants in expressions such as and .

2. Giving things: やります・あげます・さしあげます

Giver は Receiver に Object を やります / あげます / さしあげます

The receiver is marked by に. Choose the giving verb according to the relationship between giver and receiver.

Verb Use Typical receiver
Downward/familiar giving animals, plants; sometimes children
Neutral ordinary giving friends, family, people of similar standing
Humble giving customers, teachers, bosses, respected people

Friend

Watashi wa tomodachi ni omiyage o agemashita.

I gave my friend a souvenir.

Company president / respected superior

Watashi wa shachō ni omiyage o sashiagemashita.

I gave the company president a souvenir.

Dog

Watashi wa inu ni esa o yarimashita.

I gave the dog some food.

Plant

Every morning, I water the flowers.

A subtle point about さしあげます

さしあげます is humble language, but saying it directly to a superior can sometimes sound as though you are emphasizing that you are “doing them a favor.” For simple statements about giving an object, it is grammatically correct. In actual business conversation, wording is often adjusted according to the situation rather than mechanically replacing every あげます with さしあげます.

3. Receiving things: いただきます

Receiver は Giver に / から Object を いただきます

いただきます is the humble form of もらいます. The receiver is normally the speaker or someone belonging to the speaker's side, and the giver is a person the speaker respects.

The same word いただきます is also said before eating. The grammatical meaning in this lesson is broader: “to humbly receive.”

Watashi wa buchō ni omiyage o itadakimashita.

I received a souvenir from the department manager.

Sensei ni suteki na ehagaki o itadakimashita.

I received a lovely picture postcard from my teacher.

When ordinary もらいます is enough

I got a beautiful ring from my grandmother.

に vs から: both can mark the source with receiving verbs. に is very common with a person. から is especially useful when the giver is an organization or when you want to stress “from.” Example:

4. When a respected person gives to me: くださいます

Giver が / は Object を くださいます

くださいます is the respectful form of くれます. It describes a respected person giving something to the speaker or someone in the speaker's in-group.

With くださいます, the receiver is often omitted because the direction “toward me / my side” is already built into the verb.

Enchō ga okashi o kudasaimashita.

The director gave me some sweets.

Kachō ga musume ni chokorēto o kudasaimashita.

The section chief gave my daughter some chocolate.

Mr./Ms. Flores gave us beautiful plates as a wedding gift.

5. Giving and receiving actions

Lesson 41 applies the same social-direction system to actions. Instead of giving an object, someone performs an action for another person.

5.1 Vてやります / Vてあげます / Vてさしあげます

Giver は Receiver に Verb-て + やります / あげます / さしあげます

These patterns mean that the subject does something for somebody else. The social relationship determines which giving verb is appropriate.

Watashi wa musuko ni ehon o yonde yarimashita.

I read a picture book to my son.

Inu o sanpo ni tsurete itte yarimashita.

I took my dog for a walk.

I checked/looked over my daughter's homework for her.

In ordinary modern conversation with people, especially adults, Vてあげる is often more natural than Vてやる. Also be careful with explicitly telling someone : it can sound like “I will do you a favor.” Japanese speakers often omit the benefactive expression when the favor is obvious.

5.2 Vていただきます — humbly receive someone's action

Receiver は Respected giver に Verb-て + いただきます

This means that a respected person does something and the speaker receives the benefit of that action. It is a humble and grateful way to describe the event.

Watashi wa kachō ni bideo kamera o kashite itadakimashita.

The section chief kindly lent me a video camera.

Mizutani-sensei ni bunpō o setsumei shite itadakimashita.

Professor/Teacher Mizutani kindly explained the grammar to me.

The department manager's wife kindly showed me ikebana.

Compare:
= I had the teacher teach me / the teacher helped me by teaching me.
= I was grateful to receive the teacher's instruction. More respectful/humble.

5.3 Vてくださいます — a respected person kindly does something for me

Respected giver が / は (Receiver に) Verb-て + くださいます

The respected person is the subject. The action is directed toward the speaker or the speaker's in-group.

Fereira-san ga omimai ni kite kudasaimashita.

Mr./Ms. Ferreira kindly came to visit me while I was ill.

Ashita, shachō ga kūkō made okutte kudasaimasu.

Tomorrow, the company president will kindly take/send me to the airport.

Teacher Arie kindly corrected my composition.

6. Compare the same action from different viewpoints

This is one of the most important ideas in the lesson. The event may be almost the same, but the grammar changes depending on whose viewpoint you use.

The teacher gave me a book. giver's respectful action toward me

I received a book from the teacher. my humble receiving

The teacher kindly taught me Japanese.

I had the privilege of receiving Japanese instruction from the teacher.

Memory rule:
くださる looks from the respected giver toward me.
いただく looks from me toward the respected giver.

7. Vてくださいませんか — polite request

Verb-て + くださいませんか

This is a polite way to ask: “Would you please...?” / “Could you please...?”

It is much softer than the direct . Another very deferential request pattern is . In many formal situations, Vていただけませんか feels more humble because the speaker frames the request as asking whether they may receive the other person's favor.

Yoku kikoemasen deshita. Mō ichido itte kudasaimasen ka.

I couldn't hear you well. Would you please say it one more time?

Kopīki ga ugokimasen ga, chotto mite kudasaimasen ka.

The copier isn't working. Could you please take a look?

Sētā no saizu o machigaemashita ga, torikaete kudasaimasen ka.

I got the sweater size wrong. Could you please exchange it?

Politeness comparison

Expression General feeling
Casual
Polite request, but fairly direct
Polite and softened
Very polite / humble request
Politeness is not a mathematical scale. Tone, relationship, workplace culture, and the size of the request matter. This table is a practical learner's guide, not an absolute rule for every context.

8. Nに — as / for / on the occasion of

Noun + に

In this Lesson 41 use, に marks the purpose, occasion, role, or reason for giving/bringing something. Natural English translations include: “as...,” “for...,” or “as a token of...”

Ferunandesu-san ga kekkon no oiwai ni, kono osara o kudasaimashita.

Mr./Ms. Fernandez gave me these plates as a wedding gift.

Roshia ryokō no omiyage ni ningyō o kaimashita.

I bought a doll as a souvenir of my trip to Russia.

Omimai ni kudamono o motte kimashita.

I brought fruit as a get-well gift.

Useful real-life combinations:
= as a birthday present
= as a graduation keepsake / to commemorate graduation
= as a thank-you gift / in return
= as a souvenir

9. Real-life mini conversations

At work

A: I have to check this document by the end of today.

B: It would be better to have the department manager look at it.

A: Right. Manager, could you please take a look?

Receiving help from a teacher

My teacher kindly corrected my composition.

After that, the teacher also kindly taught me more natural expressions.

A gift

A: That's a nice watch.

B: My grandfather gave it to me as a graduation gift.

10. Common mistakes

Mistake 1: using さしあげます when the respected person gives to you.
If the respected person gives toward you, use .
If you humbly give to the respected person, use .
Mistake 2: confusing いただきます and くださいます.

The sentence is viewed from my receiving.


The sentence is viewed from the teacher's giving.
Mistake 3: using くださいます for a gift that does not come toward the speaker's side.
くれる / くださる normally has an inward direction: someone gives to me, my family, or my in-group.
Mistake 4: overusing Vてあげます with strangers or superiors.
Grammatically it means “do something for someone,” but directly saying it can sound self-important. Often simply state the action, or use language appropriate to the service situation.
Mistake 5: thinking every older family member automatically requires いただきます.
Honorific choice is not determined only by age. Social relationship, formality, in-group/out-group viewpoint, and the situation all matter.

11. Master comparison table

Pattern Direction Level Core meaning
me/my side → lower/familiar receiver ordinary/downward give
giver → receiver neutral give
me/my side → respected receiver humble humbly give
giver → receiver's viewpoint neutral receive
respected giver → me/my side humble humbly receive
respected giver → me/my side respectful kindly give
receive respected person's action humble have someone kindly do...
respected person acts toward me/my side respectful kindly do...
request → listener polite would you please...?
marks purpose/occasion — as / for / on the occasion of

12. Practice

A. Choose the best verb

  1. You gave your teacher a souvenir.
  2. Your company president gave you a book.
  3. You received a book from your company president.
  4. You gave food to a dog.
  1. さしあげました
  2. くださいました
  3. いただきました
  4. やりました

B. Complete the action-giving sentence

  1. My teacher kindly corrected my Japanese.
  2. I had my teacher explain the grammar to me.

Sample answers — other completions that fit the situation are also correct.

  1. くださいました
  2. いただきました

C. Make the request more polite

Even more deferential:

D. Translate into Japanese

  1. I received a souvenir from my teacher.
  2. The manager kindly showed me the document.
  3. Could you please say that one more time?
  4. I bought this as a birthday present.
  5. I gave the dog some water.

Sample answers — other natural wordings are also correct.

13. Final memory rules

I humbly give to someone respected.

A respected person gives to me/my side.

I humbly receive from someone respected.

Would you please do V?

Use Nに to mark the purpose, occasion, or role of a gift/item.